Work-Life Balance Beam

Disclaimer: This post is entirely intended to represent my perspective on being a working mom. I don't speak for all working moms, nor do I intend to disparage stay at home moms, who I deeply respect.

Adorableness

I am a full time working mom, a.k.a. a WOHM (internet acronym for work outside of the home mom), a career woman or in some people's minds - a feminazi who shouldn't have had children if I didn't intend to raise them myself. I am not being hyperbolic - I have actually been told this.

It has always bothered me that women who work outside of the home have to explain their situation or rationale for doing so frequently to almost everyone they encounter - from the family members to coworkers to the baby's doctor to people on the street: 

"So, will you be staying home? Oh, *with suprise* you'll be returning to work? Part time? Oh, full time? So you'll have a nanny, right? Oh, you're sending him to day care? *pause* Well, that's one way to develop a strong immune system."  

Silly Girl

Don't get me wrong, I am sure stay at home parents find themselves justifying their decisions, too. I have even caught myself thinking the really condescending: "must be nice to be able to afford to stay home" when someone has told me they are a stay at home parent. The thing is, I don't want to stay home full time. I wish that maternity leave was six months to a year, and I love the time that I spend with my children, but I think staying home full time would not fulfill me as a person.  


I also don't get why people don't ask fathers why they aren't staying home or act surprised when they report that they work full time or act equally surprised when they discover that a father is a stay at home parent...but I digress.  

My top five reasons why I love being a working mom

Snow Angel

Art projects

1. Quality over Quantity - Like many parents, I think every moment with my kids is precious and for me. This is especially true for work days. From the early AM snuggles to nursing my son or reading a story to my daughter at lunch to play time, dinner and bed time and even late night visits to my bed. I really love spending time with my kids. I think back to those days during the holiday break when I spent all day, 24-7 with my two kids. By the time my husband arrived home, I wanted to hand him the baby and either cook a meal, go for a run or, at the very least, pee by myself. A friend once told me that she was a better mom for working outside the home and now that I am a mom, I totally agree with her.

2. Accomplishment - It gives me a sense of accomplishment to work and to do be awesome at my job. Maybe I am selfish, but I worked hard for my degrees and position, and despite the occasional terrible day at work, I like doing my job. I also like interacting with adults each day and building and maintaining an identity that is not solely "mom". 

Babywearing

3. Income - With my job and earning potential, it wouldn't make sense for us financially for me to stay home.  And with two incomes in the mix, we can afford to do things with our kids that we wouldn't be able to otherwise and maintain a fairly high standard of living - owning a home (well two homes right now, but that's another story), having two hybrid cars, being able to afford to buy organic and join a CSA, go on vacation, buy lots of cloth diapers and baby carriers and send our kids to gymnastics and swimming lessons, etc. With only one income, we wouldn't be able to afford to do those things, or we'd have to sacrifice to get there. 

4. Me time and the ability to focus - For the most part, if I am having a busy or hectic day at work, I can shut my office door, buckle down and get my project done. When I am at home and have a lot of projects to complete, I don't have that luxury, and since my daughter thinks the vacuum is a scary alien and my son seems to poop whenever we have some place important to go, everything takes hours longer to complete than it should.

Play time

5. The best of both worlds - When Katelyn was a baby, I had the flexibility to work 4 - 10 hour shifts and work from home two days a week. Now, I can work from home occasionally, and I have both flexibility and proximity to my children's day care to visit them over the lunch hour (to nurse my son and have lunch with my daughter or read her a story). I have elected to work 7:30 - 4:00, so I have ample daylight hours to hang out with my kids in the evening. At the same time, I have a job that, for the most part, allows me to work when I am there and leave my work at work. Some days, I feel like I can do it all - have good quality time with my kids, be effective at my job, keep the house relatively clean, have at least one cooking or crafting project going every week, and work out every day. Some days, not so much. But they really are few and far between. I couldn't do this without my awesome partner and workplace flexibility - two things for which I am really grateful.

I am not saying it's not hard and many days I feel guilty - I firmly believe that guilt comes with being a mom. But, I hope to show my kids, especially my daughter, that women can be bread-winners and that gender roles don't have to be the norm. 

And to the naysayers, I say: I am woman, hear me roar.