You say you want a revolution?

Nearly every day someone asks me to explain the so-called "War on Women". Usually in the context of an internet debate and often someone who has the privilege of being a white, male, well-off Christian, but I digress.

Well, first off, there's nothing "so called" about it. I am of the belief that this war has always been around. A cold war, pervasive in our culture, even when most people didn't realize it or acknowledge it and when many of us (women) didn't mind or didn't notice that we and our daughters were casualties. The thing about culture is that unless you willfully ignore what you've always known to be true, it wins. 

To go against the grain takes courage and quite honestly, never occurs to most people until they are in a situation where they have been abused, need help or recognize evil or wrongdoing. And when the majority looks down on you, demonizes you and even threatens to imprison you or harm you and yours for doing so, it takes a uniquely strong person to step outside of the box and say - "Hey, that's not right." And even if you are that person, it takes political clout to do something about it. 

I know the "War on Women" is real because of.... 

1. Anti-Choice Extremism - Between 1995 and 2012, states enacted 755 anti-choice measures. This number doesn't include the many bills passed in 2013 and it also doesn't include those that were introduced, but didn't pass. This number has risen from 18 in 1995 to 42 in 2012. These measures include everything from restrictions on gestational age to mandates that non-essential medical procedures be performed on women against their will to allowing/making physicians present false information to women regarding risks to outright abortion bans and personhood bills.

Cumulative Number of Anti-Choice Measures Enacted Since 1995, NARAL Prochoice America 

WTF? Abortion is a legal medical procedure. Even if you aren't pro-choice, I hope that you consider that our mostly male legislators are passing bills restricting a procedure that only women can undergo, including those that allow and/or force physicians to lie to women. The premise behind these bills is generally that the value of an embryo or fetus is greater than the value of a woman or girl, even if that fetus has no chance of survival and even if that woman or girl will die if she carries the pregnancy to term. Think about that.

And, as if restricting abortion wasn't bad enough, several of these pieces of legislation also have the potential to restrict birth control. Based on junk science and religious rhetoric, birth control is being mislabeled as abortion left and right. Talk about counterproductive. If anti-choice extremists really wanted to end abortion, they would work to improve the status of women and girls in our country and provide evidence-based sex education and access to preventive health care to everyone. Instead, they've demonized women. Shame is a powerful weapon in this war. 

2. Rape Culture - Rape culture is so pervasive in our country that people don't even realize that they are a part of it. From rape jokes, to movies featuring young men seeking to have sex with drunk, passed out girls, to the many cases of rape survivors being required to justify their every decision up to, during and after their rapes to prove they were not, in fact, to blame for their attacks. One out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime (including the woman writing this post), and 90% of rape victims are women and girls (RAINN). Rapes are often not reported and rape victims are joked about, demonized and attacked in the media. Rape is not only common, it's become casual and that's wrong.

3. Pay inequity - At the time of this writing, the wage gap between men and women who work the same jobs is appalling - about 77 to 80 cents on the dollar depending on the measure. It is shocking that 50 years after enactment of the Equal Pay Act, the nation still faces gender wage disparities. Why is this and what can we do about it? Should women just accept this as fact and feel lucky that we are able to work at all?

Employment and median usual weekly earnings of women and women's earnings as percent of men's, by industry, 2009

Industry	Total employed	Median weekly earnings	Women's earnings as percent of men's
Total, 16 years and over	44,712,000	$657	80.2
Agriculture and related industries	162,000	413	84.6
Mining, quarrying, and oil and gas extraction	87,000	873	79.7
Construction	568,000	696	92.2
Manufacturing	3,467,000	618	73.8
Wholesale and retail trade	5,268,000	523	76.0
Transportation and utilities	1,242,000	685	78.6
Information	1,015,000	756	75.8
Financial activities	4,126,000	732	70.5
Professional and business services	4,080,000	744	76.6
Education and health services	17,133,000	717	77.0
Leisure and hospitality	3,027,000	421	83.5
Other services	1,703,000	503	72.2
Public administration	2,834,000	783	78.5

These data are featured in the TED article, Women's earnings and employment by industry, 2009

When I was an undergraduate, I studied the connection between income inequality (the Gini Coefficient) and international conflict (war, tribal conflict and coup d'etat). Not surprisingly, countries with greater income inequality (a larger gap between the rich and the poor) had more conflict, when I controlled for Gross Domestic Product (overall income level), level of democracy, religious freedom, freedom of the press and type of government. I wonder if the time will come when American women realize that they are under attack and stage our own coup?

4. Decision makers (for the most part) are male - I say this hoping that this will improve, and quickly, while we still have some rights left to protect. In 2013, 98 women serve in the US Congress (78 - House, 20 - Senate), which seems like a lot until you consider that this only represents 18.3% of the 535 seats. State and local elected positions feature more women. There are five female governors and 24.2% of all state legislature seats are held by women. This is one area where we have made progress, but as we look at the above statistics regarding anti-choice legislation and pay equity, one should reflect on how the status of women and girls might improve if our representatives in positions of power actually looked like we did. Even more dismal is the fact that only 21 CEOs of the Fortune 500 are women. Again, let's think about that in relation to pay equity, family friendly policies and insurance coverage for maternity leave.


5. Disney Princesses - Now before anyone rips me for equating princesses with rape and abortion laws, please know that even my daughter has gone through a princess phase. Hear me out. Our culture, with princesses as a vehicle for this message, stresses that a girl's main value is how pretty she is (so she can someday attract a prince, of course). Not that there's anything wrong with being pretty or wanting to be pretty, but often, this quality is juxtaposed against other qualities that we value in boys - strength, intelligence, success. In our culture, women can't really be smart, strong and beautiful...or at least the media tells us we can't be. Consider the Bechdel Test: for a film to pass the test, (1) it has to have at least two women in it, who (2) who talk to each other, about (3) something besides a man. So few films actually pass that it is startling. When you start thinking about how many media messages reach our ears, eyes, brains and hearts each day, it's no wonder that many of us grow up with self-doubt, confusion and a desire to reach an unattainable status - as a princess - if you will. The next time you read a book, watch a film or even look at an ad, reflect on what message it might be sending to a young mind. My four year old daughter commented to me the other day that she wasn't beautiful. She is actually quite conventionally beautiful, but her tone and desperation at the thought of not being beautiful was startling to me. It's easier in our or any culture to go with the flow, and in the US, the norm is to want to be a pretty princess, not to be a tough as nails CEO or smart scientist or creative artist.

So what do we do? 

With this war being waged for so long, it feels overwhelming, but here's my take on it: we fight back. Not with weapons, but with words and actions. We get educated, get employed and break the glass ceiling or we raise and support our daughters to do so. We teach our sons about consent. We stand up for our reproductive rights, even if it takes 13 hours of filibustering or 40 days of picketing and call foul when fake science and religious rhetoric are used in place of evidence. We storm the Capital and phone lines and the internet with our presence and make sure that the truth is heard and those in power understand that women are not afraid to fight back.

We create a new normal. 

A Sea of Red...

This normally won't be my platform for political posts, but I felt compelled to address the red equals sign that I and many, many other people posted on our Facebook walls yesterday and added to our profile pics. I also wanted to share why I support marriage equality. 

Did your Facebook feature a sea of red equal signs yesterday? Did you ask someone what it meant? If you posted one, did you inform anyone about its meaning?

I had so many friends say they weren't doing it because it was a "hipster" thing to do or that it wouldn't make a difference in the long run, because the Supreme Court wasn't checking their newsfeed before handing down a decision. 

The thing about the sea of red is that it's not about forcing the SCOTUS to decide one way or another, it's about awareness and support. 

Nearly all of my staff had no idea what was happening in Washington yesterday. I wore red and told them why I was wearing red. Which may or may not have been appropriate. My Facebook includes everyone from my 13 year old second cousin to my 65 year old uncle and everyone in between.  If I informed one person about why discrimination sucks and why marriage equality is a human right yesterday, then the sea of red did something good. I may not have changed the outcome of the case, but I informed, enlightened and perhaps changed some hearts and minds along the way. Also, if I made one of my gay friends feel like they had one more ally in the world, I feel accomplished.

As a straight, married woman, why do I feel so strongly about marriage equality? 

First and foremost, even if I didn't know and love many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people, I would push for marriage equality. Why? Because not allowing same sex couples to marry and to benefit from the rights and privileges available only to married people is discrimination. 

Discrimination is wrong. Period. 

And in the United States, state-sponsored discrimination is unconstitutional. According to the Equal Protection Clause of the Constitution, "no state shall deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws." Not allowing same sex couples to marry does this big time. If I don't stand up for all people facing discrimination, it's like saying discrimination is okay. 

But seriously, I would feel this way even if I didn't know any gay people.  When Republican Senator Rob Portman (Ohio) announced that he has a gay son and could no longer justify his opposition to same-sex marriage, I was glad that he went public, but at the same time, it made me mad. Why? Because I think people, in general, and especially those in positions of power and who represent diverse constituencies, should support what's right even when it doesn't impact them personally.  Actually, let me go one step further and state that in places where citizens elect leaders to represent them, those leaders should support what's right especially when it doesn't impact them personally.  

The fact is, I do know and love many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. They are wonderful people, human beings, who love and deserve the right to marry the people they love, form families, not have to fight every day for rights and acknowledgement that I take for granted as a married straight woman - the right to add their partner to health insurance, to have both partners legally recognized as parents to their children, to file taxes jointly, to make medical/end of life decisions, etc...and so many more. 

Allowing gay people to marry not only doesn't hurt anyone, I believe it is good for our society. Marriage is not right for everyone. But it does symbolize commitment and strength in a relationship. Allowing same sex couples to marry will ensure that more loving families are formed and that can only be good for our society. 

This is not about religion...this is about ethics, what's right, equality, fairness.

There are so many people who have no idea what's going on in this country (or their community or the world...but that is a topic for another day). If only we could have a different color for every day and inform people about poverty, women's rights, rape, hunger, the environment, world conflict, globalism, etc...   

Please feel free to share this post with anyone who gives you a hard time for sporting a red equal sign or supporting marriage equality. Maybe together we can raise more awareness.